i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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