do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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