We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
