Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How does one acquire holy water?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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