so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
