I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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