Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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