It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
