the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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