wakey wakey hands off snakey
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
