okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
