the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
