I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
