Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
