you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
