Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
