I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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