i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We are two peas in an std pod
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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