puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
