I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
