Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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