his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
