it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
