I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
