For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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