So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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