We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize