Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
