Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize