I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
