Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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