I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
