you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize