Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
