you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
