that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
