You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
