I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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