If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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