yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
