i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
