This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
