god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
