No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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