i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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