No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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