My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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