I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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