god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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