The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
