just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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