it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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