Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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