oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
