I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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