After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize