you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
