Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
