i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Shame is for Republicans.
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