I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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