Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
